A letter

Praisey Waisey,

It’s hard to believe it’s been two years since you passed away. The month of October always carries with it a beauty and fragility that’s reflected in the changing of the weather, the hecticness of the season, and the bittersweet memories that you and I shared in October two years ago. I’ve learned so much from our friendship. That life is beautiful. And sometimes short. To savor moments when you have them. We didn’t know those would be our last here on earth. And I’m glad we took full advantage of them. I’ve missed you so much these last two years. Life continues, the sun keeps rising, people pass and new life is born.

October 25th. I miss you. My heart is heavy. My body remembers and respond to this day from two years ago. I try to pause, and remember what you’ve taught me. To savor the memories. To remind myself of our pillow talks and giggles. To cry. To laugh. To cherish. Your spirit is still very much alive in me. I think of what you would say in situations. I picture your reactions in others. I jump for pictures, wear a flower in my hair whenever possible, and try to remind myself to break, and take in the beauty of life and love. You were so good at that.

I miss you, love bug.

Mary Oliver Poem

The Journey

 

One day you finally knew

what you had to do, and began,

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice–

though the whole house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles.

“Mend my life!”

each voice cried.

But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations,

though their melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do–

determined to save

the only life you could save.

- Mary Oliver

Heading back to Thailand…

Tags

The SOLD Project, Travel

In just under 24 hours I’ll be on my way. Back to Thailand, to The SOLD Project headquarters, and to the kids and staff that have won my heart and give me such a passion for what I do every day here. I can’t wait to visit with Lynette in Bangkok, to see TaWee and Beth married, to catch up with my dear friend Blah, or play with the kids when they get out from school. I can’t wait to get massages for $6, eat Khaow Soi like it’s my job, and stumble over the little Thai I still remember. I can’t wait to participate in the parent meeting, where this year our kids and their parents asked to learn about the relationship between teenagers and parents. I can’t wait to see the kids’ faces light up as they get letters from their sponsors, or to talk IN ENGLISH to two of our older students who have been studying English on a higher level since I left.

Deirdre, our first long term volunteer and English teacher in Thailand, got there a few days ahead of me and posted these pictures of posters the kids made in our welcome.

This next month my blog will take on an older but familiar face: one of Thai kids and scenery, and then eventually Egypt’s scenery as well when Kevin and I head there later this month. It’s a little break from engagement photos and leather bound books.

A Heart Update and a Request

I recently sent this email to close family and friends and thought I’d post it here as well. 

Friends and Family,

It’s been a while since I’ve written a ‘personal’ update on SOLD. In fact, I haven’t written one since setting foot back in the states. There’s something about being away from home that creates a desire to share and connect, but unfortunately that intentionality can get lost when returning back to the comforts of home. My hope with this note is to share a bit of my heart and thoughts from the last few months, as well as give an update on SOLD. So, here goes…

Kevin and I came back from our year really looking forward to community. As many of you know – it wasn’t quite the year we expected. We experienced deep loss, both expected and unexpected, and found ourselves mourning amidst the chaos of adjusting to a new culture and life. But through that we grew. Although I’ll admit it’s much easier to acknowledge the growth now, looking back, than it was during the moments. Coming home provided the friendships, family and community that we had been longing for while away. Plus I couldn’t complain – one of my very best friends bought the townhome next door – so we literally had community within walking distance! And two dear friends of ours moved in with us (yes it can work to have 2 married couples under one roof!)

We quickly settled back into life as we knew it. Kevin got his job back at Cornerstone, and I began work on all things stateside related to SOLD. Within a few months, we began formulating the idea to open an art gallery to benefit SOLD and other organizations, and thanks to the support of Goble Properties and friends/family, we opened our doors for Studio Unfiltered in August. (If you’re in the area, come by and visit! I’m here most days, but can guarantee our doors will be open on Wednesday’s from 10-4).

Needless to say, we’re happy. We miss Thailand deeply, and are very thankful for airline miles and the opportunity to be able to get on a plane and visit. I’ll be spending the first couple of weeks in November in Chiang Rai for our bi-annual parent meeting and am already getting way too excited to see our staff and kids (and eat Thai food!).

Thank you to those that pray for Kevin and I, and SOLD, on a regular basis. Here are some specific prayer requests that have come up for us:

• Prayer for continued creativity (and space for it!) in our home. For Kevin – music. For Rachel – photography.
• Prayer for continued unity as we continue to adjust from spending 24/7 with one another to now leading very busy and separate lives in our work. The studio has been a really fun way for us to continue to overlap our passions.
• Prayer for our staff and students in Thailand – that the influence of SOLD and the opportunity for education would continue to change a generation, one conversation at a time.

Finally, if giving is your gift, we have a request to ask of you. As you probably know, 100% of scholarships go towards the child’s education. Which means that funding things like our mentorship program, human trafficking awareness program, etc comes from a separate fund support by individual donors like yourselves. Our goal for the end of this year is to have 250 people pledge $16/month as part of our Stand 4 FREEDOM Campaign. Currently we have 89, and need 161 more. If we reach this goal, our current work in Thailand will be completely sustained. Will you commit to this with us? You can sign up here. And please - invite your friends to join us in preventing child prostitution. You even get schwag for it.

GIVE NOW

And finally, I wanted to share this poem that Cat wrote recently during one of our creative writing workshops (funded by our Stand 4 FREEDOM Program!).

By Cat

I am from the lotus flower, from Buddhist Lent, and warm family.

I am from high school, from cozy bedroom, from sister and brother and brother-in-law.

From “Did you eat yet?” and “Do your homework.”

I am from temple and monks and novices, from Chiang Rai, from Pasang.

Note: “Did you eat yet?” is an affectionate greeting in Thai culture. Pronounced “Gin kaaw ru yang?” is literally means “Have you eaten rice already or not?” Eating rice is so common in Thailand that it is the phrase for all eating in general.

Thanks for all of your love and support.

With so much love,

Rachel (and Kevin!)

Celebrating Walt

Walt has been a part of our family for as long as I know… he was 70 years old when I was born, and was the first employee of our family business, Goble Properties. He was like a Grandfather to my Dad, spent Christmas with the Gobles, and lived on site at the Goble Family Ranch. He spent his last 20 years tinkering around the ranch: building cowboy town, powering through the never ending list of ‘to-do’s’ that a 130 acre ranch provides, and could be seen driving from one end of the ranch to the other on his golf cart because of ‘his darned feet’.

Walt passed away on Easter Sunday, 2011, at the age of 98. He will be missed, and it was a joy to celebrate a long, well lived life. His memorial service provided lots of laughs as we shared stories about his driving, his gambling, and the quirks to be expected from a man who lived the majority of his life on a make-shift movie set cowboy town.

Moving Forward and Looking Back

Tags

Chiang Rai, Reflections, Thailand, The SOLD Project

The most common question I’ve gotten since returning home has been “so… how are you adjusting?” and to be perfectly honest I don’t know. My #1 strength on Strength’s Finders is adaptability: great when my life’s work calls me to different cultures and lots of traveling, but difficult when I really want to reflect on HOW I’m adapting. Because sometimes I can feel oblivious to it.

I’m finding that the best way to reflect is to remember; to look back. To look at pictures of the kids, of the Resource Center, of the fun memories from this last year. And to listen to what emotions those bring up. Because I’m really proud of the last 12 months of our living. Of the way’s in which Kevin and I grew as a couple. In the personal and professional challenges that I faced and either learned from or overcame. But what I’m most proud of is what was often unspoken: the connection that is created when you simply love.

My last day in Thailand (Kevin had gone back to the states 2 weeks before me) the kids surprised me with a feast. All tiny dishes of whatever food their families had on hand – or had caught especially for this meal – prepared by the kids and brought to the Resource Center to enjoy together. They then proceeded to each share about what the year – and Kevin and I – had meant to them. And presented me with cards. It was a beautiful, emotional, affirming way to move back to America. Sometimes it’s easy to forget how profound it can be to simply love. And they reminded me of love’s power by showing me how much it had meant to them.

That last day will be forever one of the best moments in my career. I don’t have the luxury of spending every day with those kids anymore. But I work for them, and with them, every single day when I meet with donors, or share about my experiences in Thailand.

So how am I adjusting? I’d say just fine. But perhaps a better question is to ask: how are you remembering? Because I’m less concerned with how I’m adjusting here and more concerned with how I’ll carry the memory of that year, the emotions of that year, the learnedness of that year, into my work HERE.

Westmont Graduation, 2011

When I led one of Westmont’s Mayterms last year to Thailand and Cambodia, I got really close with the students and was so thrilled to watch some of them graduate this week! Congratulations, class of 2011! I love you.

Happy

Tags

I

I first introduced you to Happy a few weeks ago – she’s the daughter of our Scholarship Manager, Nim. And the cutest darn 5 year old you’ve ever seen.

Yesterday, Nim was getting ready to go and Happy stepped into this sun flair. It was just too cute to pass up.

{Virtual Coffee}

Tags

Thailand, Virtual Coffee

I came across this blogging community and love the concept. Virtual coffee! Since this is essentially what my life has been this last year: skype dates with a cup of coffee or a glass of wine (depending on your time zone) my ‘coffee’ dates are nearly 100% virtual.

If we were meeting for coffee today, I would tell you what a crazy weekend this has been. Saturday is the day that the kids come to the Resource Center for English class and on our way home from picking up our English teacher, we had a pretty gnarly accident where a motorbike with three people crashed straight into the side of our truck. Everything turned out just fine – thank God. But we were really shaken up and emotionally exhausted after a long day at the police station, trying to understand a barely learned second language, and SO grateful for the community and friends on our side! Phew.

Thankfully Sunday made up for Saturday when our Scholarship Manager, Nim, and I jumped on a couple of motorbikes and wound our way up to the top of Doi Chaang Mountain where her village is. The roads went from dirt and potholed to steep and paved, and we could not stop laughing. There were moments where we were both in 1st gear and had to push ourselves and the bike up the mountain because they weren’t powerful enough to make it. There were moments when the red dirt was so thick that the bike kept slipping out from under itself. But. We made it! And wow was it beautiful. Their village produces coffee thanks to an overhaul by the Thai Government to get rid of Opium and replace it with coffee. Coffee beans drying in the sun were everywhere amidst the small shack houses propped onto the side of the cliff, with coffee trees dotting the landscape like fir tree’s are to Lake Tahoe.

We met one woman we’re hoping we can offer scholarships to. She and her husband are from Burma and speak no Thai – they are still addicted to Opium and are known for spending all their money on the drug rather than food. They have three children who often go without food unless Nim’s family (who lives next door) provide them with rice. It’s so heartbreaking to see beautiful children not given the opportunity to go to school as their parents make choices based out of addiction.

I can’t believe I leave here in 19 days. And Kevin in 8. Where has this year gone? I’m going to miss this place a lot. The kids. Our community. Watching them grow up. Being there to see their faces when they’re given new opportunity, or succeed at school, or are accepted into the University of their choice. I’m really going to miss these moments. I know I’m going back to where I need to be… but for now, it’s not making leaving any easier.

If we were meeting for real today, I would tell you how much I appreciate your support and patience with me this year. You guys mean the world to me.

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GET A FREE PRINT + Build a Fence and Computer Lab in Thailand!

As most of you know. I’ve been running a grassroots organization, The SOLD Project, for the last three years. Our mission at The SOLD Project is to provide educational opportunities to children at-risk of exploitation. In one word: PREVENTION.

For the last year I have been living at SOLD’s Resource Center: developing our groundwork, The FREEDOM Project, and training our staff. In one month, we return home, where I will continue to run the organization state-side.

For quite some time we’ve needed a computer lab here at the Resource Center. Our goal is to provide resources at the resource center, after all! Computers are needed for homework, research, Microsoft training… and we have high level visions of pen-pal programs, and educational workshops on safe internet usage.

But to install this computer lab I believe we need to build a fence around the Resource Center, first. No, theft is not an issue here. At all. Nor do we want it to be. We never want the assets that the Resource Center provides to the community to become a temptation to the community. So before we install this computer lab, we need to build a fence. Total cost = $7,450.00. To date, we’ve raised $3,350.00!

By GIVING NOW ($50 or more) you will receive a FREE 8×10 PRINT OF YOUR CHOICE.

Please ALLOCATE your donation towards ‘Stand 4 FREEDOM’

IN THE NAME OF: Fence and Computer Lab

100% of your donation goes towards this project. No loopholes. No admin. No paper pushing. 100%.

http://vimeo.com/20399633